My Mother Didn't Tell Me PMS Could Be Life Threatening to Others

Wake up feeling a little off...Oh well, it'll pass...get ready to hit the gym...Where the HELL are my shoes?...okay I know I had them in my bag...ransack the shoe closet and then from the corner of my eye I see them sitting on mat by the door..."Who ever pulled that evil joke is really not funny." says inside voice.

Hit the gym...running on the treadmill..observe man next to me..."ewww...he is finished on the machine and not even wiping it down...hhmmppphhh...his mother obviously taught him NO manners."...Send him "the look"...he sort of runs away in fear...

Finish exercise..the whole time inside voice complains..."I really don't know why I have to do this crap..isn't a walk in the park enough? I mean , really...this sweating is far too icky."

Shower, change and now it is time to hit the subway and off to work...and this in itself is an adventure of epic proportions...100's of people cramming themselves in tin cans like a bunch of sardines...of course being short I get stuck under some 6'2 male armpit that smells like it hasn't been manscaped or even washed for that matter...inside voice..."Oh god why me????? " and I burst into uncontrollable tears to the point 3 people offer me their seat.

At work...meeting...looks at agenda but for some reason...can't really focus...inside voice: "Why are all the men in this meeting so stupid?...and OMG..What is up with that mismatched excuse for a suit that woman is wearing?"...hand reaches for sugar covered donut..."Pleeeassseeee...is this supposed to be a meeting or a party- do these people really have to say good morning to each other 50 times ?...let's go people!"

At lunch: finds myself very hungry ..inside voice..."I really should have something good...I did work out this morning and am surrounded by morons - so I really need to eat." Orders cheeseburger, fries, chocolate milkshake and an ice cream sundae...finds myself sprinkling potato chip crumbs on the sundae...I contemplate stealing the lollypop the kid next to me is eating....

On the way home...stop to pick up dry cleaning...man ahead of me is giving the poor clerk a hard time...I listen for a moment...become a bit inflamed by his rudeness...Imagine dry cleaning him and tossing him on an ironing board...Inside voice.."What a jerk...this poor clerk gets paid minimum wage and your complaining about a crease in your freaking pants...iron them yourself for God's Sake...don't you have any domestic skills whatsoever???"
Notice people looking around nervously...opps- that was supposed to be my inside voice...Man storms out with ill creased pants and shoots me a look...I give him my best ferral cat impersonation...

Finally get home...look at calendar for week's activities...rut row...no wonder inside voice is acting up...cancel remaining meetings for the week, check cupboards for essentials- yup- chocolate, potato chips, and ice cream...lock doors, pull blinds...wait out the storm...this too shall pass...My Mother didn't tell me PMS could be life threatening to others..I kinda figured that out on my own...